Narcissists feel like they are the center of the universe, living on control, admiration, and consistency. There are specific behaviors that have the power to shatter their immaculately created world, leaving them shocked. Seven such traits shock a narcissist to their core.
1. Choosing Not to Stay in the Relationship
The shock waves hit when you do not choose to stay in the relationship with the narcissist. Narcissists, they’re a breed apart, aren’t they? They live their lives under the firm belief that they are the sun, and the rest of us, well, we’re just planets revolving around them. They see themselves as irresistible charmers, the ones who can lure anyone into their orbit. They have this unshakeable conviction that they can choose anyone to be a part of their lives because, well, who wouldn’t want to be with them, right?
But here’s where the plot twist comes in: what happens when you don’t choose them? When you decide that your life is better off without their charm, their charisma, their control? It’s like a bucket of ice-cold water thrown in their faces. They’re taken aback; they’re shocked. They can’t comprehend it. The idea that someone would willingly walk away from them? It’s unthinkable. It’s like questioning the law of gravity.
The narcissist’s self-image is built on the notion that they’re the center of everyone’s universe. They’re the stars of the show, the ones who everyone wants to be with. So, when you choose not to be a part of their narrative, it’s more than just a rejection; it’s a challenge to their very understanding of how the world works. It disrupts their reality. Your choice to step away can be a heavy blow to them.
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2. Surprising a Narcissist
Surprisingly, a narcissist can truly throw them off balance. Imagine this: a narcissist is like a chess player, always planning their moves, always trying to predict your moves. They pride themselves on their ability to read people, to anticipate their actions, to control the game. But what happens when you play a move they didn’t anticipate? It’s like a bolt from the blue that leaves them reeling.
You see, narcissists crave control and predictability. They want to be the puppeteers, pulling the strings behind the scenes. But when you do something unexpected, when you change the game without warning, you disrupt their carefully laid plans. Suddenly, they’re not in control anymore.
Suddenly, they’re scrambling to catch up, to regain their footing. And this, my friends, is when they’re at their most vulnerable. Because in their rush to regain control, they may reveal more of themselves than they intended. They may expose their true colors, their manipulations, their insecurities, and that’s a sight they never want anyone to see.
So, how do you surprise a narcissist? By being unpredictable, by not playing by their rules, by making your moves in your own time. It’s not about playing their game; it’s about changing the game entirely. Unpredictability is not a narcissist’s friend; it’s their kryptonite, and it’s one of the most powerful tools you have in your arsenal. Use it wisely and watch them squirm.
3. Discarding a Narcissist
When you discard a narcissist, the tables turn drastically. You see, narcissists crave attention, adoration, and admiration like oxygen. They believe they are the sun, and everyone else is are mere planet revolving around them. So, imagine the shock when one of the planets decides it doesn’t want to revolve around them anymore. It’s like pulling the rug out from under their feet.
To be ignored is a narcissist’s worst nightmare. They thrive on manipulating emotions and controlling situations. But if you are the one who decides to leave, to ignore them, it’s like a punch to their ego. They are left scrambling, trying to regain control, to regain their lost sense of superiority.
Discarding a narcissist is not just about leaving them; it’s about taking away their power, their influence. It’s about showing them that they are not the center of the universe, that you are not just an object to be controlled and manipulated, but a person with your thoughts, emotions, and desires.
When you discard a narcissist, you are essentially saying, “I am not a pawn in your game; I am the player.” This is a concept that is foreign to them, something they can’t comprehend. It’s like a slap in the face, a cold, harsh reality check. Discarding a narcissist flips their world upside down.
It’s the ultimate game-changer, the most unexpected move in their playbook. It’s a clear message that you are not to be toyed with, that you are not their puppet. You are your own person with your worth, and you will not be manipulated or controlled any longer.
4. Proving a Narcissist Wrong
A narcissist is shocked when proven wrong. Now, this is a tough one for them. Narcissists, you see, have a rather interesting perception of themselves. They are confident, but not just regular confident, we’re talking about a belief so unshakeable it could rival the foundations of the tallest skyscrapers. In their minds, they’re infallible, incapable of error. They believe that they are the epitome of knowledge, the sole bearers of truth.
But what happens when this illusion is shattered? When does the narcissist’s belief in their inherent correctness come crashing down? Well, that’s when the shock sets in.
But it’s not the kind of shock that prompts self-reflection or growth, no, it’s a shock that triggers defense mechanisms. They might even try to twist the situation, making it seem like they were right all along or that the person who proved them wrong is at fault.
You see, the issue is not just about being wrong; it’s about the narcissist’s grandiose self-image being challenged. It’s about the realization that their perception is not the absolute truth. This is a blow to their ego, a direct hit to their self-esteem.
It’s a hard pill to swallow for a narcissist. Being wrong is a bitter taste, one they’d rather avoid. So, when this happens, they are truly shocked. They are taken aback; their world shakes. And that, my friends, is a sight to behold. Being wrong is a hard pill for a narcissist to swallow.
5. Not Feeding Their Need for Emotional Reactions
When you don’t feed a narcissist’s need for emotional reactions, they’re left stunned. Let’s delve into this curious phenomenon. A narcissist, like a shark in the water, thrives on emotional responses, be they positive or negative.
It serves as a supply, a nourishment that feeds their inflated sense of self and gives them a sense of control. But what happens when you cut off this supply? What happens when you become as bland as a piece of toast in confrontations and conversations? It’s like throwing a wrench into their well-oiled machine.
They are left scrambling, trying to figure out what went wrong. You see, a narcissist is akin to an emotional vampire, sucking the energy out of their victims to satiate their insatiable ego. The moment you stop giving them the emotional reactions they feed on, you starve them.
You take away their power, leaving them in a state of shock. They’re used to their game plan, their tried-and-true method of manipulating emotions to maintain control. But when you don’t play by their rules, when you don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset or disturbed, you’ve effectively pulled the rug out from under them.
This is a powerful move, a silent rebellion that can shake a narcissist to their core. It’s a way of reclaiming your power, setting boundaries, and refusing to be a pawn in their twisted game. Starving their supply leaves a narcissist in shock.
6. Thriving Without a Narcissist
A narcissist is shocked when you thrive without them. Narcissists, you see, thrive on your dependency. They want to be the sun around which your world revolves. They want to be the puppet masters, pulling the strings of your life. It strokes their ego to think that you’re helpless, that you’re nothing without them. But what happens when you cut those strings? What happens when you step out of their shadow and into the light?
You’re no longer a puppet but the master of your destiny. You’re living your best life, and guess what? They’re not a part of it. This, my friends, is a shock to the narcissist’s system. They’re taken aback; they’re flabbergasted. They’re left scratching their heads, wondering how you managed to slip through their fingers.
They might even try to worm their way back into your life to regain that control they once had. But you’re not falling for their tricks again. You’re happy, you’re successful, you’re living your best life, and the narcissist? They’re left in the dust, watching as you soar to new heights.
It’s a blow to their ego, a punch to their pride. They can’t comprehend how you managed to escape their clutches, how you managed to find happiness without them. Living well without them is the best shock you can give.
7. Showing Kindness
Finally, showing kindness is a trait that shocks a narcissist. This may seem counterintuitive, but let’s delve deeper. Narcissists are often characterized by their absence of empathy, their inability to truly connect with others on a compassionate level. When you, in contrast, display kindness, it’s like a jarring note in their carefully composed symphony of control and manipulation.
Kindness is a quality that narcissists struggle to understand. It’s a selfless act, a testament to the strength of your character. It’s about treating others with respect, dignity, and compassion without expecting anything in return. This baffles a narcissist, as they’re used to operating in a world where everything is a transaction, where every interaction has a hidden agenda.
When you show kindness, you’re presenting a stark contrast to their worldview. You’re showing them that there’s another way to live, a way that values mutual respect and understanding over control and manipulation. This can be a jarring revelation for a narcissist, as it undermines their sense of superiority and control. Your kindness is a mirror, reflecting what they lack.
It’s a powerful tool, capable of disarming even the most hardened narcissist, reminding them that there’s more to life than their narrow, self-centered worldview. It’s a testament to your strength and resilience, and it’s something they can never take away from you.
