Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “Yeah, something just feels off”? Like there’s a darkness behind their smile and emptiness in their eyes. But when you try to explain it, you feel crazy for even thinking that way. Well, you’re not imagining it. Narcissists don’t just hurt people they drain, they confuse, and in some cases, they try to destroy, all while calling it love.
The Pattern of Narcissism
But what if I told you there’s a reason they all follow the same pattern? A reason why they seem charming at first is that something in your spirit tells you to run. Well, in today’s episode, we are exposing seven demonic attitudes that narcissists carry into every relationship. Are they just toxic, or is there something deeper at play? And more importantly, how do you protect yourself from their influence?
What Is a Demonic Attitude?
A demonic attitude is not your run-of-the-mill bad mood. We all have off days where frustration, impatience, or even arrogance can creep in. But these are fleeting, passing moments not defining characteristics of who we are. However, when someone is more influenced by darkness than by truth, their attitudes don’t just become problematic they become downright demonic.
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I want you to think of it like this: Imagine walking into a house where the foundation is rotting from the inside out. At first glance, everything looks normal maybe even inviting, especially if it’s decorated nicely. But step too hard on the wrong spot and the floor caves beneath you. That’s what it’s like dealing with someone whose mindset is ruled by demonic influence. They look stable, maybe even pretty, but beneath the surface, everything is built on deception, manipulation, and destruction.
1. Deception and Manipulation
The first demonic attitude on the list is the very thing that makes everything about them feel off yet so convincing at the same time and it is deception and manipulation. The most dangerous thing about narcissists is their ability to twist reality, gaslight you, and make you question your judgment.
You could have proof right in your hands, but somehow they’ll convince you that you’re the one who’s in the wrong. It’s not just lying, my friend, it’s warping the truth to keep control.
The enemy has been using this tactic since the beginning. Genesis 3:1 says, “Did God say that?” And just like that, deception took root in humanity. When a narcissist operates under this demonic influence, they don’t just deceive you and start to doubt yourself. They twist truth, distort facts, and reframe reality, not just to win, but to weaken you.
Jesus himself exposed this type of deception when He said in John 8:44, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” When deception is at work, it’s not just a bad habit it’s evidence of who they’re truly influenced by.
2. Control and Domination
Number two: Have you ever felt like you’re losing yourself in a relationship? Like every decision, every thought, every action is no longer yours? You see, it starts small so small that you don’t even notice it. But before long, you find yourself second-guessing everything because someone else has taken the wheel. This isn’t love this is control. And that is what number two is: control and domination. It is one of the most insidious tactics that narcissists use to dominate their victims.
Once they hook you, narcissists use a dangerous mix of emotional blackmail, guilt, fear, and gaslighting to wear you down. At first, they present themselves as your protector, your guide, or even your savior. But in reality, they’re laying the groundwork to make sure you submit to their authority. Perhaps they have something you want, something you need.
But what happens when you do something they don’t like? That mask slips. Suddenly, that caring partner, friend, or family member turns cold, punishing, and ruthless. They treat your independence like a betrayal because they don’t want a relationship they want to control.
Here’s the kicker: Their control doesn’t always look like rage or aggression. Sometimes it’s a sweet, soft-spoken manipulation disguised as concern: “I just want what’s best for you,” or “You’re making a big mistake, but I’ll support you anyway.” This is deception at its highest level.
Scripture warns about it and says, “No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise that his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:14-15). They don’t want a healthy, equal relationship they want to own you. No, they’ll never admit it, but the moment you step out of line, the punishment will begin.
3. Blame-Shifting and Accusations
The third demonic trait can best be described as a rigged courtroom where the verdict is always against you. No matter what happens, no matter how much evidence you have, the narcissist always walks away innocent, and you’re left carrying the guilt, the shame, and the blame for their actions. Yes, narcissists are masters at blame-shifting and accusations. They are infamous for rewriting reality not just to protect themselves, but to place the burden of responsibility onto you.
Their goal isn’t just to avoid accountability it’s to make you believe you’re the problem. Like somehow everything they do wrong is your fault. They lash out? Well, you must have provoked them. Do they betray you? You weren’t meeting their needs. They manipulate and deceive? You’re paranoid and overreacting. This is more than just manipulation, my friend this is a demonic attack on your identity.
The enemy has been using this tactic since the beginning. Satan is called “the accuser” for a reason. He works day and night, falsely condemning you to keep you trapped in guilt and to distort the truth. Revelation 12:10 reveals his very strategy: “For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.” Just like Satan, the narcissist thrives on false accusations, twisting truth, and keeping you in a constant state of self-doubt. The more you internalize their blame, the more power they hold over you. The blame is not yours to carry, but the boundary is yours to set.
4. Hypocrisy
The fourth demonic trait can best be described as a perfectly polished mask covering a heart of darkness. On the outside, they present themselves as kind, compassionate, and even godly. But behind closed doors, their behavior tells a completely different story. That’s the damaging effect of the demonic attitude of hypocrisy. It is one of the most infuriating and confusing tactics that narcissists use, especially in Christian circles.
They weaponize faith, morality, and righteousness to control and manipulate others while living in direct contradiction to the very values they claim to uphold only to turn around and use the sin you struggle with against you as a justification for their deliberate iniquity. They demand respect but show none. They preach about forgiveness but hold on to bitterness. They judge others harshly while excusing their sins. They claim to be victims when confronted but mercilessly tear others down.
The worst part? If you ever call them out on their hypocrisy, they’ll rage with self-righteous indignation or cower in the corner and play the victim. Narcissists love the appearance of goodness because it keeps everyone deceived. They want admiration, not transformation.
Jesus exposed this exact behavior when He rebuked the Pharisees the religious narcissists of His day. Here’s what He said: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness” (Matthew 23:27-28).
They act like good people, they say all the right things, but behind the scenes, they manipulate, lie, and deceive without a shred of conviction. It’s nothing more than a cover for their corruption. If you’ve ever been made to feel less than by a self-righteous narcissist, remember this: God sees behind the mask.
5. Entitlement
Number five: Have you ever noticed how some people walk into a room and just act like they own it even when they have no right to? It’s not confidence, it’s not leadership it’s something much darker. You see, demonic attitude number five is a lot like a dictator ruling over a stolen kingdom. They act as if they hold ultimate authority, demanding submission from everyone around them, yet they have no real right to the power they claim.
Every decision and every interaction is about reinforcing their dominance making sure you recognize them as superior, even if they have to manipulate, intimidate, or bulldoze their way over you. And that is the damaging effect of entitlement. Narcissists truly believe they deserve special treatment, that rules don’t apply to them, and that others exist to serve their needs. And they’ll demand it all without earning it.
The overt narcissist will make this entitled attitude known. But beware of the vulnerable narcissist, who knows well enough not to say it but you better believe they think it and act on it in a very manipulative way. This is more than arrogance it’s the same attitude that led Satan to rebel against God. They trample over your boundaries, make manipulative comments, disregard your needs, and react with rage or tears when you don’t cater to them.
In their minds, they can’t fathom why they’re not getting what they want. This is exactly what we see in Isaiah 14:13-14, where Satan declares, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars. I will make myself like the Most High.” Just like Satan, narcissists believe they are above others, deserving absolute power when, in reality, their authority is nothing more than an illusion. And they know it. That’s why they’re so demanding and manipulative they’re counting on your fear as their fuel.
6. Vindictiveness and Unforgiveness
The sixth demonic attitude can best be described by a fire that refuses to burn out smoldering beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to ignite again. You see, to a narcissist, a perceived offense is never just a moment of hurt it’s a lifelong grudge. They don’t just hold on to resentment they nurture it, feed it, take it to lunch, and wait for the opportunity to strike back. Their version of justice isn’t about fairness it’s about destruction. And that is the attitude of vindictiveness and unforgiveness.
Narcissists never forgive and never forget. Even when you’ve moved on, even when you’ve apologized for something you maybe didn’t even do, they’re still keeping score. They don’t just want to be right they want leverage. Here’s where you’ll see the smear campaigns, the slander, the passive-aggressive comments, and the relentless attacks kick into high gear.
Because they can’t just hate you they have to make sure others hate you too. It’s not enough for them to walk away they need to take everything and everyone with them: your reputation, your support system. The more they can take, the more powerful they feel.
This level of unforgiveness is more than bitterness it’s demonic vengeance. But I have good news, my friend. Romans 12:19 warns us, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” It may be 10 days or 10 years the narcissist refuses to let go. Their words may say they’ve moved on, but that vindictive fire burns within.
7. Playing the Victim While Oppressing
Number seven can best be described as a wolf draped in sheep’s wool soft and innocent on the outside, but underneath, nothing but fangs and a hunger for control. Narcissists don’t just play the victim they weaponize it. They will abuse, manipulate, and destroy without remorse, and then turn around and convince everyone they’re the ones who’ve been wronged. Yes, narcissists love playing the victim while being the oppressor.
They lie, they cheat, they manipulate, they betray. But the moment you hold them accountable, suddenly you’re the bad guy, and they’re the wounded, helpless victim. This is why narcissists are so dangerous in Christian circles they’ll twist scripture, cry false persecution, and pretend to be humble while secretly tearing others down. Their ability to play both the victim and the oppressor keeps their true nature well hidden from those who just don’t know any better. Believe me, my friend, there are plenty of people out there who fall for their façade.
If you fight back, that just proves their point. They push you to the brink, and then when you finally snap, they act horrified and claim they always knew you were unstable, abusive, or ungodly. They recruit flying monkeys, spin false narratives, and rewrite history to cast themselves as the innocent, traumatized party. Jesus warned us about these types of people in Matthew 7:15, where He says, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”
They may cry the loudest, act the wounded, and make others feel sorry for them, but make no mistake the true victim in the story is the one they’ve been tearing apart behind the scenes.
