By the end of this Topic, you’re going to know exactly how to handle a narcissist the right way. Whether you’re dealing with a toxic relationship, recovering from emotional manipulation, or simply looking to reclaim your power, this guide will give you the tools you need to heal, grow, and thrive while leaving the narcissist in your rearview mirror. You don’t want to miss this, so let’s dive in and get started!
1. Commit to a Healing and Recovery Process
To begin with, break free for real and heal. This alone will be enough to not only inflict narcissistic injury by no longer being willing to play the game or play to the narcissist’s ego but also by no longer being a captive audience to the narcissist and their antics. It will also be the very thing that tortures the narcissist. Why? The more committed you are to your own healing and recovery process, the less power and control the narcissist will have over you. The less susceptible to being manipulated and exploited you are, the less they will be able to get their sick kicks and dysfunctional needs met through you not least of which is their insatiable need for significance and admiration.
When you commit to a solid healing and recovery process, you’ll be busy, focused on, and preoccupied with your healing and recovery journey so much so, that they won’t be able to use you as a source of narcissistic supply by deliberately baiting, targeting, triggering, and harming you. As you heal, recover, stay focused on yourself, and stay in your lane, the more you take your power back. As a consequence, you fully disempower the narcissist at least where you’re concerned, which is all that matters. And this, my friends, is a beautiful thing.
2. Ghost the Narcissist
That’s right turn the tables and drop them like a hot rock, and do not look back. Block them across all platforms and adopt a “you’re dead to me” attitude. This means stop talking to them, stop talking about them, and stop thinking about them to the best of your ability. Instead, invest all of your time, energy, attention, and resources into healing and improving yourself and your life. Decide to move on like you mean it. Do whatever you need to do to permanently break free, but don’t stop there. Do the work to become a better person the best version of yourself, the happiest, healthiest, most healed, and empowered version of yourself. Become the person who isn’t an easy mark, who isn’t a match to empathy-impaired emotional manipulators and toxic bullies and perpetrators. Rather, grow into the person you were always intended to be the person who is standing fully in your power, sovereign and free.
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This requires that you get yourself to a place where, as far as you’re concerned, they don’t even exist for real. And the truth is, it doesn’t even matter if you have to fake it till you make it. It’s better if you can absolutely embody and own a posture of total indifference and do so authentically. But if you’re not quite there yet if you have to start from a place of acting “as if” until you’ve traveled the path of healing, recovery, and personal empowerment long enough to grow into a place of absolute indifference, so be it.
The bottom line is, the moment you decide to ghost the narcissist, the moment you decide to drop them like a hot rock, the moment you decide to take your power back and cut ties for real, you are no longer a reliable source of narcissistic supply. You’re no longer available to be manipulated, targeted, scapegoated, gaslit, or otherwise abused. Instead, where the narcissist is concerned, you are coming from a place of complete and utter indifference unaffected by their BS and nonsense. “Couldn’t care less, Charlie, whether you live or die” is the attitude you’re going for.
When you communicate this attitude and posture through your behavior and non-action, your non-reactivity, and your ability to hold the line when it comes to having established and maintaining no contact, I promise you this: the complete and utter lack of interest, care, or concern on your part your total indifference will be torturous for the narcissist. Whether they ever let on or not is another story. And the irony is, to truly torture a narcissist, they have to see that you don’t even want to torture them. It’s clear that you simply do not care enough to bother. Whatever happens to them, you couldn’t care less. Your focus is on yourself and moving on to live a much better life without them in it. Your focus is on yourself and your well-being. You’re not focused on them whatsoever. And again, the irony is, that’s the thing that tortures the narcissist more than anything.
3. Reinvent Yourself
In other words, once you’ve broken free, do what you need to do to not only heal and get well but also grow and evolve into the best self that you came to the planet to be. The version of yourself that wouldn’t give the narcissist the time of day if you met them now, at this new stage of your life, and from this new perspective of self-love and self-worth. Few things will inflict narcissistic injury and torture the narcissist more seriously than you morphing into the happiest, healthiest, most beautiful, soul-aligned, purposeful, driven, on-path, on-purpose, mission-soul you were always intended to be.
Now, this means that you take your healing and recovery to the next level. You take the time and do the work to reinvent yourself from the inside out. You heal your wounds and traumas, yes and you deal with all of your fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs while you’re at it. You do what you need to do to look your best and feel your best authentically and for real, again, from the inside out. If, as a result of losing yourself in narcissistically abusive relationships, you’ve let yourself go, no worries. It’s time now to glow up. The better you look, the better you feel. The better you feel, the better you look. And you deserve to look and feel your best.
Now, how you look isn’t everything, but don’t kid yourself it matters, and it has a massive impact on your self-esteem, your self-concept, and how you see and feel about yourself. So, pull yourself together and put some effort into looking and feeling your best again. You deserve to feel good, and you deserve to look good. More importantly, however, do the work to uplevel your self-image from the inside and become the empowered, high-value version of yourself that you know you can be and that you know has always been inside of you, just waiting to step up and step out. Become willing to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to become that person, outgrow the narcissist, and anything and anyone that is a vibrational match to pain, drama, and trauma. And in doing so, not only will you torture the narcissist (from a distance, of course), but you’ll also expose all the lies for what they are simply by being who you are who you become, who you were always meant to be by who you are at your core, how you show up, and how you live your life.
The bigger game you get to play so much so that all the lies they’ve told about you just don’t add up. They simply do not make sense to any rational human being. Grow into that person, and be willing to be patient with yourself along the way. It’s a journey. Here’s the thing: the absolute best and sweetest revenge there is moving on from narcissistic perpetrators and moving into living your best, happiest, most peaceful, harmonious, productive, prosperous, and impactful life. I promise you, it doesn’t get any sweeter than that.
By committing to a serious healing and recovery process, dropping the narcissist like a hot rock, never picking that rock up again, and then reinventing yourself from the inside out, you will automatically upgrade not only yourself and your standards but also your life and your lifestyle. Now, this may not happen overnight, but if you’re committed, it will happen and probably faster than you can imagine. Imagine if you were to get serious about changing your life for the better and committing to the work and the process. What you could accomplish over the next year or two? If you’re committed, your life can be completely different and unrecognizable by this time next year. Imagine what that would do for your self-worth and your self-esteem. How would that feel? What would that look like for you?
People often overestimate what they can accomplish in a week or a month but then completely underestimate what they can accomplish in a year. If you want to torture the narcissist the right way, get focused on creating your best life no matter what it takes or how long it takes. The time is going to pass anyway. Where do you want to be in a year or two or three or five? Even decide today that you’re going to make it happen.
4. Make Money and Make a Lot of It
If you want to torture a narcissist, make money, and make a lot of it. Ethically, and morally, in a way that serves the highest good for all concerned and brings massive value to your community and the marketplace in a way that changes lives for the better yours included. Few things will torture a narcissist more than not only knowing you’ve moved on, healed for real, grown into your best self, and are living your best life but also that you’ve figured out how to generate incredible freedom, safety, security, comfort, and abundance for yourself. You’re well-healed and well-resourced. You’re living an affluent and abundant life, and you are never looking back, baby.
Not only will the narcissist burn with jealousy, but you’ll have choices, opportunity, freedom, and all kinds of fun, growth, and empowerment at your fingertips. And here’s the thing: if you still have any fear, guilt, shame, or discomfort around the concept of making a lot of money in service of yourself as well as others in service of the highest good for all concerned then you have work to do. Healing your relationship with prosperity and abundance is part of healing, growth, and recovery. So, embrace it, and consider giving yourself the gift of healing your money mindset while you’re at it.
Here’s what’s true: you will never get poor enough to make a positive difference in your own life, never mind anyone else’s. Money is neither good nor bad it’s neutral. It’s a neutral resource. It’s a tool, an energetic currency of exchange that can be used in the service of good or bad. And what I know for sure is, that we need more good-hearted people who are well-resourced to not only create freedom, sovereignty, and joy for themselves but also the world at large. We need more good-hearted, well-intended people who are abundant enough, free enough, and well-resourced enough to go out into the world and make a difference in a way that matters. And you can’t do that if you’re broke.
The truth is, like it or not, we get paid in direct proportion to the amount of value that we bring to the marketplace. So, figure out how to bring more value to the marketplace, and while you’re at it, how to do so in a way that makes a positive difference in the lives of others. Want to torture the narcissist from a distance? As I said, of course, heal your money story and figure out a way to make a lot of it. Heal and change your own life so much so that you can go out and create a massive positive impact in the ways that only you can. It’s time now.
